Friday, October 30, 2009

Cockney Orcs

Hilbotron and I have had a few Lord of the Rings nights lately and we had a couple of questions*:

The first question is why did the Mordor orcs have a cockney accent?

I know using real world accents provides a short cut for the creators to give us somewhere to hang our prejudices and stereotypes on, and can only hope those cheeky cockney chappies don't mind the comparison.

Personally, I would have given the Mordor crew Cork accents:

Come on lads! Lets get this little langer back to the tower, like!

Then Saruman's orcs could have had a Dublin skanger accent:

Stoooaaary bud. I'ne doin a nixer for Sarumaaaaaaaaaan, y'know?

The second question is this:

Why did the elves insist on straightening Aragorn's hair? Every time he went to sleep somewhere elvy, they snuck in during the night with tongs and blow-drying spells, so that each morning we awoke with 'a bit of a Noel Edmonds' on (that is not a new way of describing morning wood).

Better than the dwarves I suppose. They only put goat dung in your beard.

*(All views expressed in this blog belong to Astrodog. My Hilbotration Unit cannot be blamed or held responsible for any of the opinions expressed).

1 comment:

  1. I agree with most of it to be honest...the orcs also had a bit of the Paul Whitehouse grumpy old man vibe...maybe they were all Paul Whitehouse? Poor Aragorn too, they didn't even put frizz ease in it, just dulled it the shit down. Ah well.