Friday, June 25, 2010

Lost in Translation

Here is a review of a CD that I translated to English using Babelfish:

When it around the plates goes, is I a gourmet: The straight best [every now and then also the most pleasant], which me into the hands falls, is good enough straight, in order to turn with me regularly its rounds. In addition, but for some time also the machinations of many representatives of the Black Metal category from the high north of Norway not exclusively count, where a straight creative fire at raging is.

Of the momentary Buzz around the Trondheimer to scene profits at present also XXXXXX, which some years ago - only in very small number of items - a little about itself let talk. Faithfully the slogan that the best surprises are the Unerwartetsten, the solo project shoots itself again back into my consciousness with an album, which ranks also among the best plates, which in the last months appeared.

It does not have superficially actually regards anything special, but reveals its true size only in actual contents. XXXXXXX at its best times break in as reference point, in the second piece believe one even, " XXXXXXX" to out hear purely of the sound of guitar and the up-brew-sent tendency. Then again the whole reminds of the ungez├╝gelte rawness of XXXXXXXXXX.

However, one can repeat to the material only with much fantasy, it here its defaults in such a way over-clearly would quote and would do, as if it would be self-work, but has Monsieur Sarath a little nevertheless too much gift. This seems decayed in particular in the second half of the album out, which offers typically Norwegian-raised melodies, desperate singing also not last hymnischen, hypnotischen march rhythms, like this certain indescribable magic the listener around the finger, with the time and space to bare Zahlenkonvoluten.

Exactly in this magic the difference lies, where the chaff to the only nice pastime and emerged as groundless cash-empty. That must have experienced one simply! It is shown thus again that the Gejubel is missing around the mentioned local scene everything else as jedwede authorization. " XXXXXX" the recent proof for it, how expressed is proceeded there above, is above all desire on their coming acts actually however all the more makes. Largely!

Makes perfect sense to me!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Bluffer's Guide to Buffet

Buffet is becoming more and more popular in Dublin - Greek, Chinese, Indian, Thai, you name it. Try the Moore St. Mall for more curry than you can eat for 5.95, but avoid 'that place' in middle Abbey Street (the only time I've ever seen a number 2 in a urinal...). Since we Irish aren't generally too well practiced at eating from buffets, here are my top tips for surviving the ordeal:

1. Easy on the starch. You're never going to maximise your protein score and cost to the restaurant if you load up on spuds, rice and noodles. Take the bare minimum and go.

2. Water only. Cheapest option. Be careful to monitor your intake so you leave plenty of room for other things.

3. Only 1 trip allowed. Sounds strange, but it is true. Whenever you go up for seconds, you only get stuff that you didn't fancy the first time around. You won't enjoy it and you will hurt your belly. Listen to the voice of reason.

4. Everything on 1 plate. As a corrollary of 3 above, you must have all starters and desserts on the same plate as your main course (obviously at the same time too). Any other approach marks you down as a namby pamby. This means no soup. You'll just have to live with that.

5. You must try to fit some of everything on offer onto your plate. If there is anything you don't like, don't worry, that's what the curry sauce is for. Curry sauce can even sort out the most bland of the desserts, so is your best friend.

6.If you are a vegetarian, don't bother. The whole point of this exercise is to hit them for as much meat as possible, so your efforts will be in vain. Go home for a cheese and tomato sandwich seasoned with mayonnaise and your own sense of self satisfaction.

7. Don't go near anything that is being held at less than 60 degrees Celcius (140 F for the yanks). Favour the places that have a glass panel between the customers' smelly gobs and the food. This is your only hope of avoiding 'unscheduled toilet breaks' on the way home.

8. Although filling pockets with spring rolls, samosas and the like is generally frowned upon, it can be a useful means of procuring substenance for the last bus and should be practiced as a matter of course.

9. Enjoy.

Sky Pirates

If you have been watching the World Cup on RTE 2, you will most likely have seen Sky's latest ad. For those who haven't seen it, George Hook (rugby pundit, fat git, smug bollix) tells us how much Sky loves us all and how they only care that we have the best possible television.

Funny, then, that they decided to disconnect me, even though I didn't owe them anything. Then, when I tried to reconnect, I saw that the whole pricing structure had changed, quadrupling the cost of the overall package. Strange huh? Needless to say, when they heard of my difficulties, they reconnected me and gave me a year's free satellite.Then the flying monkeys came in the window, a marshmallow elephant stuck his trunk in my letterbox, and Hannibal Lector dropped by to share a nice bottle of chianti.


Story Acceptance!

Hey Peeps!

Latest story acceptance is 'The Shadow Spinners' confirmed for Chiron Review. A really good story!