Friday, December 31, 2010

Prince of Persia

OMG like FFS!

The worst film of the year waits until Dec 30 to show its face!

Some films are so bad that you switch them off before they can do too much harm. Others, like this perfidious piece of tripe, keeps you watching in horror. It is something like rubber-necking at a crash scene - you know you shouldn't look, but you can't help it.

First off - Jake Gyllenhall - the game is up! He looked like a Junior Clive Owen, with his sluggish features and shovel-like emotional range. Ben Affleck school of acting. And why the hell did he have a 'British' accent? PERSIA, people... the clue is in the name.

Anyway, the others weren't too nice to Jake in the movie. Just before dying his dad, the King of Persia, looked at him and wheezed 'Whyyyyyy?' I mean, what comment could get poor innocent Jake into more trouble than that? Then, just before the love interest falls into an abyss, she says something to the effect of 'By the way, I would have totally rode you and let you... arrrgh!' Great, that should make her death easier to cope with...

Lastly, how long did it take him to use up all the sand in the dagger! 'Ok, so if I push the button it does this... what was that again... push button... back in time... push button... back in time. Nice. So if I push this... wait! It has run out of magic sand for some reason...'

This film is made of cheap plastic poo.

2010 - The Round Up

Well peeps, 2010 was a year of extremes. It all started with the announcement that my school, LCI was going to close in Feb...

The Good

Hilbo - All
Redundancy Money - Yay!
Clearing the VISA bill finally
120 gig iPod
Teaching at Alpha
Fulham V Shaktar in London
Seeing the inside of Pigeonhouse
Visiting top secret Timoney factory
Day trips with the crumblies - Botanic Garden, Jameson Distillery, Glendalough
New job - CES *****
Sunny summer
Walking on the beach
Stories published with Chiron Review, Reflection's Edge, Everyday Fiction and Outburst
Geting Praise for Longstone Vol 4 and getting the go-ahead from the others to continue with the name
Doing about 20 reviews for Imhotep & Eternal Terror
Hilbo's Point Village Comic Event
Meeting Pat Mills at 2D
Accepted to the DELTA
Trip to St Petersburg
Guesting at Octocon
Visit to Teresa & Woodchurch
Special Vodka night out St Pete
Judging Aeon Award 2010

Books -
Air by Geoff Ryman
The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Kelly or something like that
Margaret & I by Kate Wilhelm
The Salt Roads by Nalo Hopkinson
Gun with Occasional Music by Jonathan Lethem
Ivory by Mike Reesnick
Land of Laughs by Jonathan Carroll
The Brutal Art by Jesse Kellerman
The Snowman by Joe Nesbo

Movies -
The Road
The Ghost
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Lots of other stuff that I forget!

Music -
Deathspell Omega - Paracletus
Blood Cult - We Who Walk Behind the Rows
Enslaved - Axioma Ethica Whatever

Games -
Enslaved - Odyssey to the West
Guitar Hero Metallica Edition
Dragon Age Origins

The Bad
Being made redundant
Marky-shaped hole in my life from April onwards
2D Festival - being ditched in Sandinos and generally feeling left out because the Irish comic scene is all about artists
Starting a new job at the height of the busy season - can't say too much about that but it was crazily stressful and required me being on high alert, full steam ahead for about 5 months solid.
Being back commuting on the train during the rush hour
Didn't see much of friends because I was so busy...
Not much word from family either, but that was probably a good thing...
Missing Hole in the Sky and other gigs because I had too much on :(
Watain cancelling.... fook!
The DELTA - the most sickeningly stressful course I have ever had the misfortune to become involved in...
Which meant that I have had to give up writing for a year :(
My outer expansion... I feel like a snowball rolling downhill, getting bigger and bigger every year.

Well, that's it peeps!
I wish you all a Happy New Year and all of the best for the future, or the past if you are travelling the other direction...