Friday, December 31, 2010

Prince of Persia

OMG like FFS!

The worst film of the year waits until Dec 30 to show its face!

Some films are so bad that you switch them off before they can do too much harm. Others, like this perfidious piece of tripe, keeps you watching in horror. It is something like rubber-necking at a crash scene - you know you shouldn't look, but you can't help it.

First off - Jake Gyllenhall - the game is up! He looked like a Junior Clive Owen, with his sluggish features and shovel-like emotional range. Ben Affleck school of acting. And why the hell did he have a 'British' accent? PERSIA, people... the clue is in the name.

Anyway, the others weren't too nice to Jake in the movie. Just before dying his dad, the King of Persia, looked at him and wheezed 'Whyyyyyy?' I mean, what comment could get poor innocent Jake into more trouble than that? Then, just before the love interest falls into an abyss, she says something to the effect of 'By the way, I would have totally rode you and let you... arrrgh!' Great, that should make her death easier to cope with...

Lastly, how long did it take him to use up all the sand in the dagger! 'Ok, so if I push the button it does this... what was that again... push button... back in time... push button... back in time. Nice. So if I push this... wait! It has run out of magic sand for some reason...'

This film is made of cheap plastic poo.

2010 - The Round Up

Well peeps, 2010 was a year of extremes. It all started with the announcement that my school, LCI was going to close in Feb...

The Good

Hilbo - All
Redundancy Money - Yay!
Clearing the VISA bill finally
120 gig iPod
Teaching at Alpha
Fulham V Shaktar in London
Seeing the inside of Pigeonhouse
Visiting top secret Timoney factory
Day trips with the crumblies - Botanic Garden, Jameson Distillery, Glendalough
New job - CES *****
Sunny summer
Walking on the beach
Stories published with Chiron Review, Reflection's Edge, Everyday Fiction and Outburst
Geting Praise for Longstone Vol 4 and getting the go-ahead from the others to continue with the name
Doing about 20 reviews for Imhotep & Eternal Terror
Hilbo's Point Village Comic Event
Meeting Pat Mills at 2D
Accepted to the DELTA
Trip to St Petersburg
Guesting at Octocon
Visit to Teresa & Woodchurch
Special Vodka night out St Pete
Judging Aeon Award 2010

Books -
Air by Geoff Ryman
The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Kelly or something like that
Margaret & I by Kate Wilhelm
The Salt Roads by Nalo Hopkinson
Gun with Occasional Music by Jonathan Lethem
Ivory by Mike Reesnick
Land of Laughs by Jonathan Carroll
The Brutal Art by Jesse Kellerman
The Snowman by Joe Nesbo

Movies -
The Road
The Ghost
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Lots of other stuff that I forget!

Music -
Deathspell Omega - Paracletus
Blood Cult - We Who Walk Behind the Rows
Enslaved - Axioma Ethica Whatever

Games -
Enslaved - Odyssey to the West
Guitar Hero Metallica Edition
Dragon Age Origins

The Bad
Being made redundant
Marky-shaped hole in my life from April onwards
2D Festival - being ditched in Sandinos and generally feeling left out because the Irish comic scene is all about artists
Starting a new job at the height of the busy season - can't say too much about that but it was crazily stressful and required me being on high alert, full steam ahead for about 5 months solid.
Being back commuting on the train during the rush hour
Didn't see much of friends because I was so busy...
Not much word from family either, but that was probably a good thing...
Missing Hole in the Sky and other gigs because I had too much on :(
Watain cancelling.... fook!
The DELTA - the most sickeningly stressful course I have ever had the misfortune to become involved in...
Which meant that I have had to give up writing for a year :(
My outer expansion... I feel like a snowball rolling downhill, getting bigger and bigger every year.

Well, that's it peeps!
I wish you all a Happy New Year and all of the best for the future, or the past if you are travelling the other direction...

Sunday, September 5, 2010

3 dollar pay day

Hey Peeps,

I found a very, very old story hiding on a floopy disc somewhere, dusted it off and sent it to everyday fiction. It was accepted and published on Aug 15th. This morning I received payment of $3 into my paypal account.

Nice! The story can be found at:

Monday, August 30, 2010

Albedo to feature as guests at this years Octocon

Looking forward to this years Octocon as Albedo 1 will be attending as a guest! Go visit the link to find out more about it.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

A Free Story??? Wow!!!

Hey Peeps!

Check out my latest story! Let me know what you think!

Hope you enjoy it!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Lost in Translation

Here is a review of a CD that I translated to English using Babelfish:

When it around the plates goes, is I a gourmet: The straight best [every now and then also the most pleasant], which me into the hands falls, is good enough straight, in order to turn with me regularly its rounds. In addition, but for some time also the machinations of many representatives of the Black Metal category from the high north of Norway not exclusively count, where a straight creative fire at raging is.

Of the momentary Buzz around the Trondheimer to scene profits at present also XXXXXX, which some years ago - only in very small number of items - a little about itself let talk. Faithfully the slogan that the best surprises are the Unerwartetsten, the solo project shoots itself again back into my consciousness with an album, which ranks also among the best plates, which in the last months appeared.

It does not have superficially actually regards anything special, but reveals its true size only in actual contents. XXXXXXX at its best times break in as reference point, in the second piece believe one even, " XXXXXXX" to out hear purely of the sound of guitar and the up-brew-sent tendency. Then again the whole reminds of the ungez├╝gelte rawness of XXXXXXXXXX.

However, one can repeat to the material only with much fantasy, it here its defaults in such a way over-clearly would quote and would do, as if it would be self-work, but has Monsieur Sarath a little nevertheless too much gift. This seems decayed in particular in the second half of the album out, which offers typically Norwegian-raised melodies, desperate singing also not last hymnischen, hypnotischen march rhythms, like this certain indescribable magic the listener around the finger, with the time and space to bare Zahlenkonvoluten.

Exactly in this magic the difference lies, where the chaff to the only nice pastime and emerged as groundless cash-empty. That must have experienced one simply! It is shown thus again that the Gejubel is missing around the mentioned local scene everything else as jedwede authorization. " XXXXXX" the recent proof for it, how expressed is proceeded there above, is above all desire on their coming acts actually however all the more makes. Largely!

Makes perfect sense to me!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Bluffer's Guide to Buffet

Buffet is becoming more and more popular in Dublin - Greek, Chinese, Indian, Thai, you name it. Try the Moore St. Mall for more curry than you can eat for 5.95, but avoid 'that place' in middle Abbey Street (the only time I've ever seen a number 2 in a urinal...). Since we Irish aren't generally too well practiced at eating from buffets, here are my top tips for surviving the ordeal:

1. Easy on the starch. You're never going to maximise your protein score and cost to the restaurant if you load up on spuds, rice and noodles. Take the bare minimum and go.

2. Water only. Cheapest option. Be careful to monitor your intake so you leave plenty of room for other things.

3. Only 1 trip allowed. Sounds strange, but it is true. Whenever you go up for seconds, you only get stuff that you didn't fancy the first time around. You won't enjoy it and you will hurt your belly. Listen to the voice of reason.

4. Everything on 1 plate. As a corrollary of 3 above, you must have all starters and desserts on the same plate as your main course (obviously at the same time too). Any other approach marks you down as a namby pamby. This means no soup. You'll just have to live with that.

5. You must try to fit some of everything on offer onto your plate. If there is anything you don't like, don't worry, that's what the curry sauce is for. Curry sauce can even sort out the most bland of the desserts, so is your best friend.

6.If you are a vegetarian, don't bother. The whole point of this exercise is to hit them for as much meat as possible, so your efforts will be in vain. Go home for a cheese and tomato sandwich seasoned with mayonnaise and your own sense of self satisfaction.

7. Don't go near anything that is being held at less than 60 degrees Celcius (140 F for the yanks). Favour the places that have a glass panel between the customers' smelly gobs and the food. This is your only hope of avoiding 'unscheduled toilet breaks' on the way home.

8. Although filling pockets with spring rolls, samosas and the like is generally frowned upon, it can be a useful means of procuring substenance for the last bus and should be practiced as a matter of course.

9. Enjoy.

Sky Pirates

If you have been watching the World Cup on RTE 2, you will most likely have seen Sky's latest ad. For those who haven't seen it, George Hook (rugby pundit, fat git, smug bollix) tells us how much Sky loves us all and how they only care that we have the best possible television.

Funny, then, that they decided to disconnect me, even though I didn't owe them anything. Then, when I tried to reconnect, I saw that the whole pricing structure had changed, quadrupling the cost of the overall package. Strange huh? Needless to say, when they heard of my difficulties, they reconnected me and gave me a year's free satellite.Then the flying monkeys came in the window, a marshmallow elephant stuck his trunk in my letterbox, and Hannibal Lector dropped by to share a nice bottle of chianti.


Story Acceptance!

Hey Peeps!

Latest story acceptance is 'The Shadow Spinners' confirmed for Chiron Review. A really good story!


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Story Acceptance!

Well, I'm happy to announce that I've had a piece accepted by a new Irish Mag called 'Outburst'. This was not a genre piece like I usually do, so I was at a loss as to where I should send it. So thanks to those good people at writing4all ( ) for bringing such a great new publication to my attention!


Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Secret of Kells

Hi Peeps!

Just saw The Secret of Kells and wanted to tell you all about it!

I had thought the film would be good, but it far exceeded my expectations. Stylistically, the creative directors have been extremely brave in the direction they went with the look of the film. Be warned, because it will probably take you some time to get used to the  whole thing! Once involved, though, you will find that it is one of the most breath-taking visual spectacles you've ever encountered, and that rare thing - a work of art that can move you simply because it is so beautiful. High praise, I know, but the film really is that good.

Storywise, the writers have kept it simple; Brendan wants to be an illustrator, while his uncle, the Abbott of Kells has other ideas. On top of that, the vikings are on the way. What worked most for me was a subtext that will speak to all writers and artists - write, draw, design. Stay involved with your art and keep moving forward. Illumination comes to those who persevere!

The Secret of Kells is not only the best animated feature I have ever seen, it is also the best Irish movie I can think of. Miss it at your peril!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Look at My Lovely Face!

Ok Peeps!

My profile is now up on Imhotep's staff page:

What do you reckon of that, then?

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Good News from Reflection's Edge

Hi peeps!

Reflection's Edge have just been in touch to say that they will be publishing my short story 'Callista' in late July/August.

Check out their lovely site at:

Now, I'd better go and write some more stories!


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Story Acceptance

Hi Peeps!

I am delighted to say that I have just had a short story 'Premonition' accepted by Black Lantern Publishing in America. They are planning to include it in the 'fall' issue of their quarterly online literary journal.

This is the first story acceptance that I've had since I restarted submitting things late last year. Ok, I had a couple of things longlisted in competition, but this marks my return to print in fiction (I've been doing plenty as a reviewer, interviewer, comic creator and editor all along).

So, huzzah for me! I'll post a link as soon as it goes up!

Peace out homies!


Hi All,

Issue 38 of Albedo 1 comes out this week, featuring one of our best covers yet.

As you can probably see from the image on the left, the issue contains an interview with James Gunn, some great short stories and the usual reviews as we round up the latest in fiction.

In my first appearance with Albedo, we have a review of Clarke and Pohl's The Last Theorem and John Robbins latest, The Monkey Head Complaint.

Although I assisted with some of the editing, this will be the last issue before I come on board as a full co-editor, so I'm really looking forward to seeing what the future has in store.

Albedo 1 is available from The Forbidden Planet or direct from

Monday, March 29, 2010

Vol.4 gone to print!

The latest Longstone Comic Vol.4 has now gone to print, so we hope to have copies for release by the end of April.

Deirdre de Barra is the cover artist, and we have contributions inside from Kieran McKeown, Ian Pettitt and Hilary Lawler.

I feel that it is the best we've done so far, so I'm looking forward to getting it out there and seeing what people think of it!

Peace out homies!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Been a Long Time

Hi Peeps!

It has been a mighty long time since I showed my face around here. Sorry!

At the end of January, I got the news that my job was going to close at the end of February. So I had to get those high heels on and get out and do some go sees! Thank Jaysus I got offered a couple of things and actually started a new job a couple of days before I was meant to finish in the old job.

Since then I've spent most of my time figuring out where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing. Phew! So that has taken a lot of energy. I haven't written too much lately but I'm getting things going again.

Peace out! Tune in later for news of Longstone Comics Vol 4!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Me - Online!

Hey Peeps,

Check out the link below for another of my fantastic stories:

Check out this link to see me interviewing the mighty Absu in Bergen 2009.

Peace out!