Friday, October 30, 2009

Cockney Orcs

Hilbotron and I have had a few Lord of the Rings nights lately and we had a couple of questions*:

The first question is why did the Mordor orcs have a cockney accent?

I know using real world accents provides a short cut for the creators to give us somewhere to hang our prejudices and stereotypes on, and can only hope those cheeky cockney chappies don't mind the comparison.

Personally, I would have given the Mordor crew Cork accents:

Come on lads! Lets get this little langer back to the tower, like!

Then Saruman's orcs could have had a Dublin skanger accent:

Stoooaaary bud. I'ne doin a nixer for Sarumaaaaaaaaaan, y'know?

The second question is this:

Why did the elves insist on straightening Aragorn's hair? Every time he went to sleep somewhere elvy, they snuck in during the night with tongs and blow-drying spells, so that each morning we awoke with 'a bit of a Noel Edmonds' on (that is not a new way of describing morning wood).

Better than the dwarves I suppose. They only put goat dung in your beard.

*(All views expressed in this blog belong to Astrodog. My Hilbotration Unit cannot be blamed or held responsible for any of the opinions expressed).

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Calling all Artists!

Considering the fact that all the other Longstoners are artists, you may wonder why I'd be looking for even more people to work with. The answer is simple enough really - it takes a relatively short time to write a script or story that can tie an artist up for months, meaning that I generally have a backlog of scripts, stories and ideas.

So, I'm looking for people to work on projects of various types and sizes. I mainly do sci-fi, with a bit of horror and fantasy on the side. I don't really do superheroes, but when I do, I prefer things like Concrete and Madman rather than the standard Marvel fare. (These are my favourite comics along with stuff like Adrian Tormine and Craig Thompson.)

I am open to collaborating on pieces, so that the finished work will reflect both of our interests and play to what the individual artist prefers to draw or is best at. We could use existing scripts, or come up with new ones. It might be useful for those wishing to build some first-class sequential work into their portfolios.

As far as publishing and distributing goes, I'm happy to work at every level, from photocopying and stapling at home, to full colour production. All expenses and profit would be split 50-50, although I retain all rights on all characters, concepts, plots etc. (This is open to negotiation if we are using characters, plots and settings the artist approached me with in the first instance. My aim in stating all this is not to be a pedantic pain in the hole - I just want to have things clear and up front!).

I warn you, though! Being indie producers, we are unlikely to make any money! Personally, the whole thing for me is about exercising my creativity, increasing my profile as a writer and hopefully coming up with something that people will find stimulating and enjoyable. So, if you think you'd like to get involved, leave your email in the comment box and I'll give you a call!