Monday, August 3, 2009

Achievement 10 G - Liver Abuser

A combination of things made me want to get as drunk as possible last Saturday: my upcoming redundancy and general money worries, the fact that I'd just been to the funeral of someone 3 or 4 years younger than me, the fact that my house was full of friends and laughter, and the fact that I'd just finished my first short story in about 4 years.

So I decided to drink a full 75 cl bottle of Russian Standard vodka.

The results were as follows (in roughly chronological order):
Cautioned by the police for using the local playground,
Sudden bouts of bellowing,
Fits of rolling on the ground,
Fits of rolling on the gound with no trousers on,
Loss of coordination leading to suprise collapsing,
Red carded to bed by Hilbotron.
The next morning:
Vomiting orange acid,
Prayers to thank Baby Jesus that I stayed out of hospital,
Watching 3 hours of Rick Stein's Seafood Odyssey.

I would have said yesterday, in the throes of my hangover, that drinking so much was incredibly stupid and irresponsible and that I would never do it again. I certainly would not recommend it.

However, now that the remorse has passed, I'm not so sure. Maybe I would do it again.

One thing I can say for sure: Do not try this at home kids!

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