Cockney Orcs

Hilbotron and I have had a few Lord of the Rings nights lately and we had a couple of questions*:

The first question is why did the Mordor orcs have a cockney accent?

I know using real world accents provides a short cut for the creators to give us somewhere to hang our prejudices and stereotypes on, and can only hope those cheeky cockney chappies don't mind the comparison.

Personally, I would have given the Mordor crew Cork accents:

Come on lads! Lets get this little langer back to the tower, like!

Then Saruman's orcs could have had a Dublin skanger accent:

Stoooaaary bud. I'ne doin a nixer for Sarumaaaaaaaaaan, y'know?

The second question is this:

Why did the elves insist on straightening Aragorn's hair? Every time he went to sleep somewhere elvy, they snuck in during the night with tongs and blow-drying spells, so that each morning we awoke with 'a bit of a Noel Edmonds' on (that is not a new way of describing morning wood).

Better than the dwarves I suppose. They only put goat dung in your beard.


*(All views expressed in this blog belong to Astrodog. My Hilbotration Unit cannot be blamed or held responsible for any of the opinions expressed).